Becoming Awakened

 As I sit here this morning with a cup of spicy ramen for breakfast, a cup of coffee, and an energy drink (Don't Judge Me LOL), I feel a pull to make some changes in my own life. I want to embrace a pescatarian diet. I don't like the idea of eating another living being. What about the fish though? What about the plants? They all have lives that are sacrificed for our survival. Has anyone else felt this way? Currently I thank our food while I am cooking it. I thank the plants, herbs, and meat for their sacrifice so I can cook for my family. The more I embrace who I am and what I believe the more I become awakened and aware of all the life around me. I can feel the energy that living things around me share with me. I have a big flower pot in my bedroom. I sat it on my nightstand and planted a hummingbird wildflower mix in it to place on the patio when spring arrives. Watching the seeds sprout and grow has brought me so much joy and brings life into the house during the Winter months. I feel pulled to put food out for the birds and squirrels, and enjoy seeing them enjoy their meals. I have always felt a divine connection to nature, but it feels so much stronger than it was before. It feels like I am waking up from a deep slumber. Will I ever crawl out of my broom closet? Maybe...at some point. For now I am enjoying the peace I feel as I finally fully accept who I am. I haven't been kind to that girl. I have pushed her in a closet and made her conform to societies demands on what to believe, what is beautiful, and what her goals should be. When people criticized her I pushed her to the back of the broom closet, and discouraged her from showing her beautiful truth. Accepting myself has been a long hard journey. Learning to love myself has been a constant struggle but I have come a long way from where I was. I will continue to grow and strive to be the best me I can be. One day I will come out of my broom closet. Today is not the day, but one day I will escape the confines of this broom closet like a butterfly escaping its cocoon.